To the Lions or Whatever

Ahh, government in action! Kenya is racing to save their lions/tourist attractions from starvation due to a severe drought. Their plan of attack? More zebra!

Remember last week's post about introducing wolves into our National Parks as a solution to deer and elk overpopulation? Let's just bring the lions here. We'll knock out a couple problems at once! That oughta get some ranchers excited.

Anyway, here's the article. Thanks once again, AOL News - Kenya Rounds Up Zebras to Feed Starving Lions

Naturally, I have a few things to say about this.

If you add zebras to the park, won't they too die from the drought? How are they going to establish a breeding population? You might as well start tossing the lions steaks straight from the tourist lorry.

Notice, too, in both situations - National Parks and Kenya - we are dealing with areas that do not allow hunting.

BTW, for an animal that size, 2,000 - 3,000 lions sounds like alot. Probably wouldn't hurt matters to have their herds thinned out a touch.

To the Wolves or Whatever

From Chapter 4 - "What Were They Thinking" in The Annals of Bad Ideas comes a report on AOL News that scientists are contemplating releasing wolves in National Parks and other lands to fight the expanding ungulate herds.

Quoth Forrest Gump, "Stupid is as Stupid does."

Look, I know a few things. One, allowing hunters in National Parks to control the deer and elks herds, while a fine idea that could make the park system some money, would rile up a series of lawsuits from the anti-hunters that would last at least until the next asteroid hits us.

Two, yes, something probably has to be done in parks around the country to thin out deer and elk populations. Widespread starvation or disease is the absolute least tolerable option yet is a grave threat. Some form of control is needed - ahem, hunters.

Three, for the most part, wolves are done in the Lower 48. Morally right or wrong, I accept it as functionally accurate that these animals do not have a place in Modern America. The room is not available. Run-in's with people - ranchers, hikers, bikers, Boy Scouts, whoever - is inevitible. Hell, just watch the news tonight; there's probably a coyote-ate-my-pet story. I'll share my sorrow about this fact and wish it had never come to that, but as they say in the locker room after someone pulls a gun on a teammate, "it is what it is."

Perhaps the most ludicrous part of this is the thought of erecting fences, to speak nothing of tracking collars and contraception. What, are they going to fence off a population of deer, add wolves, wait 2 years until cooked through? Is this their recipe? Then tear down the fences, round up the wolves and move along?

Maybe I am being cynical - no, I am - but someone much smarter than I should explain this to me so it makes sense.