Buffalo Turkey Tenders

You killed a turkey this spring, didn't you? Didn't you!

I'm not envious, resentful or consumed with fits of murderous rage. Promise. And to show you I'm not, here's a recipe you may try that will burn the taste buds right off your tongue.

It is tough to beat fried turkey. Fried in chunks or whole, this bird eats. One day though - last year, perhaps - I kinda wanted something different, outside the normal order of things. I catch a load of crap from my wife and others who think I’m 12 for ordering chicken tenders at restaurants. Even fancy restaurants that don't necessarily serve chicken tenders. I'm not invited to many fancy restaurants any more. I tell them all the same thing – it’s hard to screw up tenders.

Turkey. Fried. Yes, yes...for something special? Add the hot wing sauce. Dammit, let's shoot that sodium level through the roof!

½ boneless turkey breast
House-Autry Original Recipe Seafood Breader
Vegetable Oil
Milk
Frank’s Buffalo Sauce

Cut breast into chicken tender-like strips, slicing around tougher tendons and removing any remaining yellow fat (and lead shot!). Cover in plastic wrap and whack on each side with tenderizer mallet. Soak in milk for 30 min. - 1 hour. Heat oil in cast iron deep enough for frying. Remove strips from milk and press well into breading – if milk soaks thru, re-press!

By the way, I've used all kinds of seasoning for fried turkey breast from cornmeal to breadcrumbs and smashed-up saltines. This House Autry seafood breading is the best by far for this recipe. Has just enough kick to complement the hot sauce. Trust me. Don't ask questions, just be amazed.

When the oil is ready, add the fingers until golden brown on both sides. Toss with Frank’s Red Hot Sauce and dip in blue cheese or ranch dressing. Simple, delicious, fun at parties.

And since I'm basically a failure at turkey hunting and have been found wanting, take pity on this boy and feel free to bring a batch over to fry.

And definitely watch your back. I'm still fairly bitter.